How do you respond to an "over-sharer"?
We received an IG DM that read:
I have a friend who is always oversharing.
We can be in a group having a good time, and the whole vibe will change bc she'll say something that's just too much.
Have you ever done an episode on boundaries? How do you tell someone that they're oversharing?"
In this week's podcast episode, we outline how to respond.
Listen to it here.
Here's an overview:
You have to tell your friends when it's too much.
But one key component is timing.
You wouldn't tell a friend in front of a group of people because 1. it's embarrassing, 2. it's going to feel like a call-out and 3. it's going to heavily impact the way she responds if she feels threatened-- and being confronted in front of observers can make us feel threatened.
The other important factor is tone.
Instead of responding with disgust or frustration, try this (in a private, one-on-one setting):
"Hey, girl. You know I love having you as a friend, but if I'm being honest, sometimes you share things that make me uncomfortable because I just don't know how to respond. It can feel like a little too much, and I don't know how to react."
Remember, tough conversations should be an invitation to dialogue, not a "telling off".
So lead with the goal of finding understanding instead of being accusatory, because it may be the conversation she needs to realize she's crossing boundaries, while also helping you to better understand where she's coming from.
We all have unique boundaries, and that's okay. The key it to communicate them.
In fact, I was featured in an article by Psychology Today, and in it, I revealed my PERSONAL "off-limits" subject when talking to friends. To find out what it is, click here.
And in the meantime, go forth, and set strong boundaries gently.
You got this.